a pretentious exercise of self-import

Welcome to the archives!

The archives contain all previous works since the website's launch on 28 September 2011. A list of work is outlined on the table below. Each individual article may be located by clicking on the corresponding name and date from the drop-down archive menu.

Article Title Subject Date Posted
Canadian Head Cabbage There's lots of gold in Acapulco. 31 October 2018
This Little Piggy Went To Market Adventures in porcine barter. 30 September 2018
Speaking Nancinese Skunk part linguistics. 31 August 2018
Welcome Back Khadr Jihadi serenades. 31 July 2018
You Too Can Poo In This Loo The equality of piss on bathroom floors. 30 June 2018
There's An App For That Farting, obituaries and streaming live radio. 02 May 2018
Understanding Culture Through Adverstising Pharmaceuticals, lawyers and dead kittens. 07 April 2018
The Cheese Slipped Off His Cracker Forest Gump goes to Washington. 01 March 2018
Frank's Arm Severed limbs and Holy Tupperware. 01 February 2018
Quivering Livers Mary, Mary, quite contrary, where does your organ go... 14 January 2018
Black Faces & Red Noses Racism and discrimation alive and well at the north pole. 01 December 2017
Up To, Starting From, As Low As Sandy McTire would know the price. 28 November 2017
Ammunition Premonition Zen and the art of dodging bullets. 31 October 2017
Appropriate Appropriation Tossing a tomahawk at the yoga teacher while eating tacos. 30 September 2017
The New Cosa Nostra The screwing you'll get for the screwing you got. 31 August 2017
You're Special Just Like Everyone Else Celebrating the 2017 White Agnostic Heterosexual Male Born on a Friday 1960 Games. 31 July 2017
DUBAR The drunk guy at a hockey game. 30 June 2017
Marketing 101 It doesn't smell if you don't have a nose. 01 May 2017
Local Entrepreneur Envisions A Wynne Win Zeroes, Ones, Hydro One, Wynne Wins 01 April 2017
Moving Towards Egalitarianism Albertan cave-dwellers. 26 March 2017
Debunking the Corporate Mantra A candid conversation with my good friend Dan. 28 February 2017
A Horse of a Different Colour A preference for ponies over pony-patties. 31 January 2017
Uncle Butch Is Drunk Again Impaired telephone billings. 31 December 2016
Do Not Call Means Do Not Call Telemarketting and my imaginary friend Abdullah. 18 November 2016
Sobering Thoughts Exploring alcohol-induced river expeditions. 31 October 2016
Things That Irk My Wick The devil made me do it. 30 September 2016
The Ontology of Wafers Competing views on Jesus and mold. 31 August 2016
Pandering to Toadies When truth becomes an act of revolution. 31 July 2016
The WTF Drawer Uncovering refridgerator mysteries. 30 June 2016
Artistic License & Journalism Evil reigns supreme in Canadian legislature. 31 May 2016
If Your Cause Is Just, Why Hide? Solidarity amongst the lemmings 30 April 2016
Doors to Revolutionize Computing New operating system released April 1st! 31 March 2016
If Debbie Did Dallas, Can Barbie Do Diversity? The Barbies You Won't See on Store Shelves 29 February 2016
A Folked Up Middle East Farhan & Ashez: The Islamic Transvestites. 07 January 2016
Disengaging 911 Here's a quarter, call someone who cares... just not 911. 31 December 2015
Code 50 Section 10 Detecting the perverts in our midst. 30 November 2015
In Bed Fortune Cookies Freud's conceptualization of the Id, the Ego and the Fortune Cookie. 31 October 2015
Who Turned Out The Lights How do you like your blue-eyed boy now, Mr. Death? 28 September 2015
GPS Jocularity A new muffler sure makes the car quieter. 31 August 2015
Thwarting The Exit Response Maintaining donut supremacy. 31 July 2015
The Diet Of A Dingo When the wrong Turckie leads the flock. 28 June 2015
In Vino Veritas Comedic consultation squid pro quo. 16 May 2015
What's The Number For 911? Skittles, rainbows and your local FedEx professional. 30 April 2015
Rethinking the Jinx Puckhead Folly 28 March 2015
The Devolution of Legislators Humour's Divine Origin 28 February 2015
It's No Wonder I'm Confused On the Sabbath, I dress like Wonder Woman. 31 January 2015
Off Target An American giant slain on the frozen Canadian tundra. 31 December 2014
Sokoto & The Bush Rat Of men, mice and mutts. 30 November 2014
The Signal CorpsE The International distress signal for Scotch. 31 October 2014
Rationality, Pragmatism & Fiscal Responsibility Venturing into the dark side. 30 September 2014
The Politics of Smoke Rings A pack a day keeps the doctor away. 31 August 2014
Transit Entertainment Justifying a value-added tax. 28 July 2014
Red Twenty-Three A remembrance of Dave. 26 June 2014
Pooch Poo Politics Stoop and scoop observations. 12 June 2014
Greenwashing Gomorrah Save the planet, buy more plastic! 30 May 2014
Eschewing the Coffee Snobs This coffee tastes like cat shit. 30 April 2014
Recidivistic Precursors Serial killers and cheese sandwiches. 29 March 2014
Destined To Be A Penguin Reassessing the job qualifications of Olympians. 28 February 2014
Mufulira A Rememberance of Tennyson. 10 January 2014
Worst Buy Gets Better Cyber Monday misgivings. 31 December 2013
Something Just Doesn't Add Up Privileged parking and the art of shaping social values. 10 November 2013
The Butcher of Farrow Street God loves it when you kill things. 07 November 2013
God Save Poutine A secular one-god state. 24 October 2013
Britannia Beach Follies Raccoon requires rehab. 20 September 2013
Tales from 6-toe Country - Part 2 Shirley you jest. 08 September 2013
Tales from 6-toe Country - Part 1 Hillbilly hound thwarts euthanasia. 31 August 2013
Canada's Addiction Blue blood, bourbon and roach clips. 31 July 2013
Saving the Chamber of Sober Second Thought Brigands, blackhearts & scallywags. 30 June 2013
Mrs. Pierce Was Wrong Let me grab my foolscap. 31 May 2013
Windows 7 or Windows 8: Using the Right Tool Pounding finishing nails with a sledgehammer. 24 April 2013
Local Inventor Poised To Launch Personal Black Box A digital device for death's door.. 01 April 2013
There Are Worse Things Than Retirement Jobless groinless woes. 21 March 2013
Defunct Store Mascot's Retirement Plans Dashed The Blunt Moral Lessons of a Dream. 09 March 2013
There's No Such Thing As Bad Press Paying homage to Walking Eagle 05 March 2013
Penny-wise or Pound-foolish? A thought for your pennies. 22 Feb 2013
30 Minutes or Free Adopting a public transit service policy. 24 Jan 2013
Today's Lesson Is Hypocrisy The new school yard bullies. 17 Jan 2013
The Consummate Christmas Gift A twelve inch woody. 23 Dec 2012
The End of an Era The devolution of Canadian retail. 18 Dec 2012
Local Television Satellite Solution From rabbit ears to space junk. 25 Nov 2012
Stick Your Card Up Your Wazoo! Pissing off the clientele. 03 Nov 2012
Ojibway Man Goes On Warpath Over Team Named Redskins Are Redskins redskins? 18 Oct 2012
Who's On 1st, What's On 2nd & Who's Smoking What at City Hall? Does Pro ball spell no ball? 11 Sept 2012
Mama Don't 'low No 'lympic Play'n 'round Here Stop subsidizing the Olympics. 02 Aug 2012
A Storey With A Twist Floor roulette: a game of chance. 31 July 2012
Auditory Assaults Bleeding ears and cotton batting. 25 July 2012
State Sponsored Child Rearing EI inequities revealed 30 June 2012
Speech impediment rock Lithsping through thongs 18 May 2012
Taking veneration to the cloud! eWorship and the iGod. 02 May 2012
Dyslexics have more NUF! Small town banking & bowel movements 21 Apr 2012
Santorum Drops Out! Politics & double entendres 11 Apr 2012
Following in the footsteps of Imelda Marcos New jackboots on budget day. 07 Apr 2012
I buy my underewar at K-Mark! iDorks and their handheld devices. 31 Mar 2012
If time flies, who's the pilot? Using Forest Gump's wristwatch. 17 Mar 2012
What's in a name? Say what you mean, mean what you say and don't be mean when you say it. 29 Feb 2012
Bullshit Detection & Kevlar Deflectors Taking the nonsense out with the trash. 03 Feb 2012
How would McLuhan look in 3D glasses? 3D's blight on the entertainment landscape. 23 Jan 2012
The good, the bad & the real fooking oogly. Christmas, the solstice, triptophan addiction and Yuletide shopping. 06 Jan 2012
Grappling with Vegas math Critiquing games of chance. 22 Dec 2011
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus! Rude awakenings and the loss of youthful innocence. 06 Dec 2011
Another One Snides The Bus A cynical commentary on Ottawa's "no-see" Transpo. 30 Nov 2011
Fashion Victims Perhaps it's time you rethought those jackboots. 16 Nov 2011
Dissing the chocolate cake gods A cake lover's dissatisfaction with Rideau Bakery. 21 Oct 2011
Letter carrier avoids grievous spiderweb injury. Using your imagination to shirk job responsiblity. 01 Oct 2011
Les pluots de mes tantes The etymology of French profanity and hybrid fruit. 28 Sept 2011

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